Birthday weekend is fast approaching. I’m adding another year to the tab and feeling ambivalent, as at present birthdays are a reminder of stuff that I’m still trying to do (learn French, tame the piccolo, write the Great American Novel) rather than a celebration of survival. Sonny, however, is turning 25, and he’s psyched about it. A quarter of a century! He’s taking a week off from his job and has lots of expeditions planned. At the very top of the birthday week we’ll have cake, candles, presents large and small, and wishes.
I’m surprised, given how much energy our culture devotes to birthdays, to discover that in the olden times many societies celebrated only gods’ and rulers’ birthdays, not those of common folk. The earliest birthday ceremonies were intended to keep the capricious gods and kings in a good mood.
Before the mid 1800s, ordinary Americans were more likely to celebrate George Washington’s birthday than their own. Rich folk had begun throwing birthday parties, though, and the practice trickled down. People of all classes started treating their children’s birthdays as an occasion for treats such as fruit or cake. The kids-these-days types predicted that birthday parties would make for a generation of spoiled, demanding children. Nevertheless, the average-Joe birthday caught on, possibly because it provided so many sales opportunities. Entrepreneurs made a tidy profit hawking cards and clowns, banners and blowhorns, presents and party games. At the center of the festivities remained a cake, with candles.
Cake with candles on it seems weird. Tasty, but a fire hazard. However, the tradition dates back at least a couple of millennia. The ancient Greeks adorned moon-shaped cakes with candles, sending the smoke skyward to gain the favor of Artemis, goddess of the moon and also of childbirth. In the 1700s, or maybe the 1500s, or the 1200s—online accounts are not in agreement here—some Germans began celebrating Kinderfeste on their children’s birthdays. A Kinderfest featured a cake with candles that remained alight from the morning until dinner time. (!!) Candles would be relit and replaced as necessary. After dinner the child would blow out the candles while making a wish. Then the family would eat the cake, which I hope tasted of something other than smoke and wax.
Our cake will have candles on it, but only for a couple of minutes. It’ll taste like vanilla and buttercream frosting. We aren’t bakers or candlestick makers here, so the cake and candles will come from the Shaw’s bakery section.
Birthday presents come from the same ancient tradition, gifts to gods and kings. In some ways having a birthday every year turns into a neat idea, doesn’t it? Being the god/king who’s being honored, if even for just a few minutes and in a limited way? Gods and kings are way harder to please than the mini-monarchs in our heads, but even a tiny king can be picky. For me, the smaller the present, the harder it is to make a solid choice.
When I asked him for small-present suggestions, Sonny texted “band t-shirts.” Further inquiry clarified that his god did not care for shirts promoting metal bands, or boy bands, or marching bands, or country bands. His god also preferred that the body of the shirt be black. My goddess asked for socks. She also has her preferences: soft, rather than scratchy. Pretty colors. Also the socks must not scootch down under the heel when worn with shoes, nor should they be too tight around the ankles.
Always tougher than it looks. We’ll do our best to honor each other’s gods with the goods. May our deities be happy and kind as we make our secret, silent wishes.
the jeanSpace 